That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
