You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
