Already got asked if we're dating
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
