I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize