My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
