i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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