She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You took a bar mat shot.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
