remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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