dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
