real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
