you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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