who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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