): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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