He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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