i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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