Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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