I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
