i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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