i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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