She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
