Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize