Where is the hickey?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
