Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize