you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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