oh god the rape fog is back!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
