dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
a search helicopter?!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
