this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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