Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
