I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
