Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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