why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fuck appropriateness.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
