I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i permit you to call me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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