we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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