they need to just BURY HIM!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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