quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
