Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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