You're so nebulous sometimes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
