no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
