The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
