Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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