omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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