i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
