If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The ass gains better be worth it
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