K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
