Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
