Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
