Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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