My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we made out on top of his cat.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
