It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
