Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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