where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
