ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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