Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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