So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
