So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize