remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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