The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize