i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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