"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
