just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
