you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Even my vagina gasped.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE