And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face