No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse