i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
