do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care